Are you sending your child to kindergarten and your stomach is doing flip flips?
You aren’t alone mama! Kindergarten starts here in less than two weeks. I can no longer pretend that I can keep my daughter safe and protected in the little cocoon of our home, where her father and I are her two favorite people.
I’ve been consumed with the urge to soak in every ounce of her I can get, spending leisurely evenings outside on a blanket playing U-No (her favorite game right now).
When my daughter was a fussy, colicky baby I used to dream of the days when she would be older, when she could talk to me, when she would sleep through the night, and we could play and have tea parties and read books together. It sounds cliché to say, but I feel like that moment came in the blink of an eye. I know there were many long days (and nights) and hard years. Yet here we are, and I find myself missing those times.
A friend once told me that my job wasn’t to keep bad things from happening to my daughter, that was out of my control. It is part of everyone’s life experience and growth. It is their story. My job is to provide her with the tools to deal with the curve balls and disappointments life will throw at her.
Even at the tender age of five, the truth of this is already becoming apparent. Meadow recently needed to get a few shots to for kindergarten. Later that night she was being really hard on herself because she thought she hadn’t been brave enough. She asked me, “Mommy, if there is a God, why is there such a thing as shots?”
And so it begins. I felt wholly unprepared and I answered the only way I could, with the truth. I told her there are many things that happen in the world that are sad and unfair, and it’s hard to understand why they occur if there is a God; sometimes we just don’t know.
And so we prepare for school. There are open houses to attend, haircuts and school clothes to purchase. Preschool graduation.
I feel the overwhelming need to mark this ending, this beginning, this new season of motherhood with a special ritual.
After much soul searching, here is my own creation, a ritual for releasing my “baby” (a little!), for loosening my grip, to shower her with blessings as she ventures out into the complex and crazy world of friendships, peer pressure, discovering new interests and learning new things, as she journeys into this big beautiful mess we call life.
Suggested items for your creating an altar for your ritual:
- A candle.
- Several pictures. (I chose her ultrasound, a picture of myself pregnant, and one picture from each year of her life.)
- A crystal. I used Rose Quartz. It stands for unconditional love and inner peace and releases unexpressed emotions and heartache.
- Baby book, journals, and any other special mementos from the baby years.
- Reiki Spray with a Citrine crystal. Citrine helps you to to go with the flow and enjoy new experiences. A sage bundle would also work.
- A meaningful statue or totem. I used this statue from Bell Pine Art Farm called Release. The mama is holding a baby bird in her hands that she is releasing into the world. When the baby bird is removed from her hands the imprint of a heart full of love is left on the mama. What could be more perfect?
- Find some quiet time when you won’t be disturbed.
- Create a little altar with the above items and light a candle..
- Sit down and close your eyes. Imagine yourself growing roots into the ground.
- If you have a bell, ring it to signal the beginning of your ritual and to clear the space.
- Take 3-5 deep breaths, noticing the rise and fall of your chest.
- Gently open your eyes when you are ready and gaze softly at the candle. Then shift your focus to your photographs, taking in the amazing miracle of this tiny peanut on an ultrasound that grew into this amazing child in only five short years.
- Take some time to browse through journals or other mementos that you’ve collected and brought to the altar. Linger over them as long as you need to.
- Give thanks to your body for growing and giving birth to your baby and to God or the Universe for the gift of these extraordinary years.
- I then read a poem that my husband wrote for Meadow’s Blessing Day, (her Christening), which was full of our hopes for her future and filled with messages of our love for her. You could also write your own blessing if you don’t have anything like this already written.
- Ring the bell, close your eyes, and blow out the candle. Spray some Reiki spray into the air to cleanse and lighten your space or smudge some sage. Imagine the spray or the smoke from the smudging as blessings being sent out into the universe for your child. Whisper a prayer of thanksgiving.
After I completed my little ritual, I sat outside and let the silence wash over me. The house was so empty. How strange; my husband was at work and my daughter at school.
A butterfly came and sat on my arm for a long time.The symbolism of the butterfly was not lost on me. Our children are like our little caterpillars that we have for only a few short years and then they grow into beautiful butterflies that we must release into the world. As my friend once told me, this is my daughter’s story. I am only here to witness this miraculous journey.
As your child gets ready to enter kindergarten I’d love for you to share your thoughts and rituals in the comments. Let’s support each other. We can do this dear mamas!
Encouragement for Mamas:
Pin This For Later!