I Am Worthy

I am worthy. I’ve been thinking a lot about this concept lately.

I Am Worthy. I recently pulled this card from the little mantra deck that comes with my free self care toolkit. Truth be told, I realized that most of the time, I don’t feel worthy of a lot of things. How many of you can relate? My daughter just turned eight. It took eight years of self-neglect for me to finally crash and burn.

Somewhere between pregnancy and raising a child I lost my self and my sense of self worth.

Once my daughter was born, I stopped getting my hair highlighted. I had gained some weight so I stopped buying clothes, I didn’t deserve them. I stopped getting regular checkups with my doctor.

It never occurred to me when my daughter was an infant that I was worthy of a break.

Since having a baby, I only had my first nap last year. Honestly. I didn’t feel Iike I deserved to ask my husband to take over while I napped.

Eventually I stopped eating regularly. I didn’t take the time to make breakfast or lunch for myself. My only meal was dinner with the family. I lost a lot of the weight I had gained, but then my hair began falling out, I stopped getting a period, and I entered into full blown adrenal burnout. Worst of all, I ignored symptoms of anxiety and started getting panic attacks while driving.

Because I didn’t take care of myself, didn’t like my clothes, and had major anxiety, I began to look for excuses not to go to parties or leave the house. I avoided mirrors because didn’t want to be seen, even by myself. It was like I was a stranger in my own skin.

My world became a tiny little bubble that I had created. A bubble can only get so small before it bursts and disappears. All because deep down I didn’t feel worthy.

It took my health falling apart, literally, to wake me up.

I scheduled an appointment with my doctor. Slowly, I started to buy some new clothes and spent money on vitamins. I started eating more.

I’m not going to lie, it’s been a difficult journey.  And, it’s still ongoing. I have good days and bad days. Days of doubt and days of guilt. But it’s also been rewarding. I’ve gotten to know myself more and I’m treating myself better than I have in years. I’m setting a much better example for my daughter. I want her to feel confident. To feel strong. Beautiful. Worthy.

I Am Worthy

So, if you’re feeling like you aren’t deserving, I am here to tell you that you are. Taking care of yourself will help you feel better, be a better mother, friend, and partner. As mamas, we are part of the most worthy tribe there is.

We give birth to souls. We soothe fevers, toothaches, and bad dreams in the middle of the night. We kiss boo-boos and dry salty tears cried over broken friendships and bullies. We are Santa, Elf on the Shelf, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy. We make meals, picnics, bedtime snacks, and hot chocolate. We are who they look for in the crowd after a perfect cartwheel. We create childhood memories. The real question is, how are we not worthy?

In order to help remember this, I’ve created the I Am Worthy Mama Manifesto that I say everyday.

I Am Worthy Mama Manifesto

I Am Worthy

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I Am Worthy

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